My earlier 3fa58303d0 tried to implement
the net/http.Tranhsport.DialTLSContext hook, but I didn't return a
*tls.Conn, so we ended up sending a plaintext HTTP request to an HTTPS
port. The response ended up being Go telling as such, not the
/derp/latency-check handler's response (which is currently still a
404). But we didn't even get the 404.
This happened to work well enough because Go's built-in error response
was still a valid HTTP response that we can measure for timing
purposes, but it's not a great answer. Notably, it means we wouldn't
be able to get a future handler to run server-side and count those
latency requests.